The 365 day project: Hope #3

They took away everything. His car, His home, his office.
Crushed his dreams, happiness.
Struggling , caged in his heart, they couldn't rob one thing.
Safe, nestled deep down: A ray of hope.

The 365 day project : Truth #2

He fumbled in the court.
Stammered while he sweat profusely.
The verdict was going to be in his favor.
Only if he hadn't spoken the truth.
A rigorous imprisonment ahead of him.
He finally confessed.

The 365 day project : Smile #1

Through raindrops I saw her hazy figure.
Unclear.
An ordinary face selling flowers on the signal.
But an earnest smile.
Honest and unforgettable.

Back to blogging: 365 day project!

After a long time, this space is back!
Hopefully here to stay, sharing tiny tidbits for 365 days :) These could be anecdotes or any other food for thought :) 

Memories on the trot..............

Because of what I thought you were,
                     and what you were not,
My memories of you refuse to blur,
                              and refuse to rot,
& my efforts at blocking you out
                        all come to nought,
                       more often than not...

There was a lot of Love we thought,
                            ----- "A Lot"!!!
But it got caught
              in the spinning onslaught..

Holding hands, being there.......
All elements of a sweet fairytale plot,
With untruths, the mind was fraught.

A fine canvas got a messy big blot,
T'were differences between what the
Heart said and the brain thought....

Do we now "see" what actually happened,
                            and what ought?

Full Circle.....

Life comes back full circle, you know...
And you will reap, whatever you sow..

You'll always be right here, wherever and however far you go,
Making me feel better again, whenever I feel too low.

What you told me years ago,
More often than not, I hear exactly the same words echo...
I donno whether to classify it as deja view or a future dekko!

Sometimes, when i enter into a tunnel dark and narrow,
The Ghost of the Past, as I perceive it, descends upon me,
and I feel all Joy covered with deep Sorrow,

The Past comes nearer, beckons me... & Lo!
It says: "From our conversations, I will need some words to borrow,
I couldnt be your Yesterday, but dont worry, I'll be your Tomorrow........ "

Beeg Bear Hugs!

In these days of play-n-plug,
There's one desire, which to all heart strings tugs,
There are many Someones out there who need a BEEG BEAR HUG!

Someone sad, someone alone,
Someone to tired to even brood and moan..

Someone who's standing still even today coz of a thud aeons ago,
Someone who doesnt believe a better future will ever come and last.
Or the one who's crazy speed makes his present a distant past....

Someone who's too scared to let go,
Someone who was once a go-getter but now lets life get the better of him...

Someone whose tears are framecast in the void of the eyes,
Someone who's eyes are long dead but whose hands beckon you.

Someone who wants to belong, but has been turned away for too long,
Someone who's forgotten the tune of her own song!

Someone who's only known Hate,
Someone who's given up on his fate.
Someone who's never known Love or its mystic gait..

Someone who's wide awake on a lonely night,
wondering wherefrom his next meal will arrive.

Someone who longs for a word, any word, as long as he's been spoken to,
Someone whose smile has long gone
Or the one who can smile despite bearing a hundred wrongs...

Someone who's had a lifetime of swimming against the current,
but now has no energy left to go on..
Someone who's life is a-drifting; who knows not how to move on.

Someone who was once a leader, but is now too afraid to even follow,
Someone who was once brimming with life, but now lives one so hollow!

Someone who was once a teacher but has now forgotten to learn,
Someone who, from himself, is on the Run..
Someone whose story may reflect your own (known or unknown)....

Each of these Some-ones need Kindness and some warmth ----
we're not talking of hearths and rugs,
Each of them could do with Beeg Bear Hugs!

Selected poetry by YT - Blast from the past.....Installment 1

In continuation with my entry (rather bold one! :D - read previous post for a backgrounder!) into the world of poetry, I'm trying to find all those pages, scraps, old diaries where I scribbled stuff....and posting them all  on the blog (Yeah: am not a big enough poet to think of copyright issues yet!! :). So here is the first batch / installment of 5 of 'em poems:

1. There's something thug-like in this throng,
Each one sets out to create and sing her/his own song,
But to the same universe of verse they all belong,Each of them is more alike than they'd thought, all along!


2.  
If there are wounds, there WAS Hurt,
No point 'ghosting' it away....
Forgiving aint easy, nay, not-at-all,
But walking tall again is important; how long do you want to crawl?

3. 

Lines designed on the palm indelibly,
Green Vessels carrying the Red Life tirelessly..
Thoughts criss-crossing the head at top speed,
Piercing the tenuous silence with mutinous noise,
Rings and bowed branches do not a tree's age hide,
Our memories tie up the Within and Outside...
Pick up the harrowed strings, colour them bright,
Take the reins, grip them tight...

4. 

In the grand scheme of Time,
There's nothing early Early or Late..
Time's tide will swell and abate,
But its our Choices that make our Fate...

5.

Who is Santa, they ask,
He is more popular than the Pope and he epitomises Hope.
What is Hope, they ask,
It is the rope that pulls you out of the well of Despair and it is a Cousin of Prayer.
What is a Prayer, they ask,
It is the talk which connects the souls of the Seeker and the Sought.
What is the finest thing that can be Sought? :)

Faith, Humility, Love are all fine,
But to a kid, it is still Santa's Mask!!!

to be continued.......

Same person - different lives!?!

I began my life with probably NO knowledge of what creativity is.
I grew up guessing probably I had not much creativity.
When I began work, I was convinced I wasnt creative,
People around me, yeah they're creative, many of 'em....
But me, no way!
Till there came a phase, where I stopped disbelieving in myself....
A phase where I began doing things I wouldnt have dreamed of, earlier - in my younger days i mean.
Sample of what I'm talking about?:

I karaoked. (donno how close it was to croaked, but that doesnt matter! :D)
I bunjee jumped.
I began getting fascinated by travelling far away places - on my own or with unknown people
I began talking to strangers. I began making friends relatively easily.
I proposed (not telling you to whom and how many times :P)
I started organising Meets, Events for causes close to my heart.
I participated in Inter-corporate Bowling Tournaments (not telling you how far we got, though! :D)
I began taking life less seriously for the things that dont matter and more seriously on the counts that needed improvement.
I got a wider screen view of the world - with all its good, bad, ugly - from the earlier narrow perspective on things.
I began writing poetry. Rhymes, mostly. But heyyy, I never thought I could!
I began exploring the inner & outer worlds a lot more than I ever did in all the years in my age.

Same person - different lives....or Same life - different levels of awareness. I pick the latter :)

Rhymes, yet again :)

I dont need the cover of the world,
Within myself I can hide,

Behind all the noise,
Restlessness and a yearning reside....

How I want to cast the mask aside,
I want to rebel; yet I want to abide

At any given moment we have just the moment to decide,
To trace the sameness in all, or to divide,

One day, the solution in the form of something or someone will arrive,
To all those doubts, all those questions, the answers personified..

Are you in the same boat? Hop on over, we'll together ride the tide,
You & Me, She & He, We & They, All side by side...

There's no way we're gonna lose the present, if we're thus allied,
If there's a right way to be: Tis to Be Bonafide! 

Alios Helios....

Yesterday, had a little discussion with a friend on Extra-Terrestrial Life ...likelihood, etc....something that i'm really really interested in..

While thinking of it today, my thoughts got penned down in the form of the following poem... :D

I had fun writing it, hope you have fun reading it too :D :D :D 

Poem begins:

As I stand at the beginning of Nowhere,

I wonder, who else is out there?

Far Far beyond the sky so blue,

There you reside, I know its true!

The more I think, the more I’m convinced of your existence,

Why aren’t you coming to see me yet…are you serving a prison sentence?

Whether your world is above mine, or under,

What stops us from getting acquainted, then being friends, I wonder..

Im keen to know how you look like, what you eat,

And whether you have more than two feet?

I want to know your family, your society,

And you can see my world, in all its variety …

I wonder whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert,

What will be chat about; and BTW, do you guys wear any shirt?

Do you have funny laws governing your world too?

Do you have oldies running your country too?

Do you experience emotions like Love too?

If yes, in case of a break-up, what do you do?

I mean, do you sit still and feel your pain?

Then do you go out and love again??

I want to know what have you evolved from,

Like us, do you wonder where you’re going to, and where you came from???

Ohh there’s so much I want to know about you,

Of you and your world, we have no clue!!

Poem Ends

360 degrees....

Love makes the world go round,
It creeps up at you silently, without a sound....

It makes sure you see no further,
You pay no heed to mom or dad, sister or brother...!

It warms your heart and brightens up your eyes,
Gives you an extra spring in your step, which you don't even realise!

It makes you feel good about yourself and the world in general,
All's right with the world, you feel, all is well....

It makes you do crazy things that you otherwise never will,
You jump into the river even if you cannot swim!

It fuels your dreams and sparks up your life,
Ohh, there's no scope for fear, nor stress, nor strife!

Then one day, that niggly wiggly truth in the form of doubt, arrives,
And throws Trust out of the window; now Suspicion thrives....

You so much want to clarify things, you so much pray for the doubts to be untrue,
But Alas, the bitter tragedy hits you straight out of the blue...

You love the person, but hate his ways,
You try everything hoping that in the end, the love and the dream stays!

Things go downhill, he's no longer the same,
Oh let things be Ok,, let things be Ok, is your constant refrain...

You know not why he said, 'Aye',
When all you hear now is sounds of 'Goodbye'...

In a torrid moment, you drift away,
You can't bear him afar, so in your heart he stays...

Retracing the time spent together you feel dizzy,
Everything seems to have happened in such a tizzy ....

What started out as the best solution, is now an ugly mixture of questions and puzzles...

You can close your eyes to things you do not want to see,
But you cannot close your heart to things you do not want to feel....

In the midst of all this, where has Love got lost, you ask?
Oh, its right in there, even when you feel your heart is all covered by frost...

The Love you had is never gone,
But yeah, for Love's own sake, you need to move on! :-)

ICQ

pic courtesy: newzar.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/depression.jpg

More than enough has already been said about Viveka Babajee's suicide...
frankly wild guesses and vague interviews with a few ppl were the only sources the media had ...but with what authority do they air/print this news?? What she did right or wrong during her lifetime or whom she met was none of the media's business... but they printed reams and reams of glossy news about her past...! its downright condescending - to be doing this to someone who's not even there to defend herself...
SAD.


What the media could have done instead is to portray this unfortunate instance in a wiser way...in a more responsible way...They could have focussed on the following:
1. Unbiased trend analysis of cases of suicides reported - any studies on urban vs rural trends, gender, age trends...domestic n globally...
2. Genuine expert opinions, thoughts, on causes, symptoms, forms, diagnosis, prevention, treatment of depression and related tendencies....
3. Role to be played by immediate support systems - family/friends in cases where a particular trend / set of symptoms is observed.. sort of a "how-to" guide for all people concerned...
4. Focussing on larger societal / economic / lifestyle / stress issues ... and mitigants for depressionary tendencies in such situations.. addressing issues across the large societal gap that India has come to attain...
5. Increasing awareness about emotional stress from childhood - (counsellors in school / college), accessible counselling centres/help care centres & most importantly, SoS facilities for immediate addressal of panic attacks or suicidal thoughts / behaviour...

The World Health Organization warns that by 2020 depression will be the second most common disease in the world after cardiac health problems. It is becoming a fast-spreading endemic...with innumerable cases that dont even get reported; nay, not even recognised / diagnosed.... We should start taking action no doubt...but then we should know what actions to take as preventives, in the first place...
Giving this issue due media coverage with the right insights would have been the media's humble contribution to responsible reportage! 

Rainbows n B&W

'My dream is to fly...
Over the Rainbow so high!'

I love this song, its video, its colors, its vibrancy, its dreams, its energy...

B&W vs multitude of colors... What do u prefer? Do u slot life and its myriad ways in very staid strict separate 2 compartments... Where there is not even a single point's commonality?

Or do u view them as a fluid, inter-changeable state of matter which can get altered depending on where u view it from?

Both Rainbow as well as B&W co-exist...
None has supremacy over the other... None can stake claim to be the Undeniable Truth....

The sooner one realises this, life becomes simpler to go by... Instantly... :)
Any thoughts on this? - do share them!

The Curse

She grew up without the real it...,
And never even realised its need then...

And when at a continuation of teenage she found it,
She wasn't really astounded...

So continued her lack of need for it,
She was busy on a one-track field then...

Slowly the thought struck and began to take root,
But somehow, she couldn't convert each single opportunity to a mass route...
and soon, off the idea did scoot !

Further along in her journey, she had some brilliant individual accompaniments ...
But never did dey make music as an orchestra brings!

Since they were all ragas of their own,
Moods always didn't match frequencies ... And so she was still alone...

Whenever she thought she had come nearer to one,
Circumstances always conspired to make each of them run...

So it went on for years n years..
and the thickness of the real n potential losses was now several layers!

She realised maybe she should go back in time....
But when u're so far, u can never distinguish a pound from a dime...

And even after years when she thought and she chose,
This epithany can't be really put down in prose..

scars whether given by near ones or those who are far,
Right upto yr soul, have the ability to char!

Till this day she wonders what n why each of this occurred,
Some stories she told herself, n some she heard..

It really is a miracle to have a circle of good frens,
Investing time in them makes real good sense...

But she also knows for a fact that the choice is not always hers,
Sometimes its thrust on u...its like a Curse!

P.S. - comeback poem :) also u'd have noted that I've not put any day count... Will not be mentioning it henceforth :)
Realised u can't always have a set agenda:)

day 45 - trip diaries... Contd....

Oh i've been to Heaven .... And back... :)
Ladakh is one place which everyone must visit at least once ... The landscape is postcard- picture-perfect! - pristine, demure, breathtaking and at the same time magnificient n awe-inspiring ...
The people (ladakhis) are also very nice n sweet folks... Imagine what they go thru at a place where winter temps go down to minus 30!!! N all u get to eat in winter is potatoes n dals (if u r vegetarian - which most of them are, being Buddhists ) ... Schools are shut for 3-4 winter months (nov to feb) ... some kids are sent away by parents to boarding schools in delhi n dehradun... all this I knew before I touched down at leh airport... Courtesy a pretty ladakhi
Teenaged girl named Rinchen (ladakhi name means princess) who was sitting next to me on the flight!
She also wrote down a few Buddhist chants for me....which was really sweet! We exchanged email ids ... She's not on orkut or fb! ... And also invited me to stay over at her place ... (not possible, this time around!)

Coming back to d landscape, there was this inexplicable feeling of Wow which comes to u when u walk out of leh airport and breathe d freshly baked air! like a fren of mine who visited the place last year (or last-to-last yr) says - ' one could never think bare rocky mountains could be so beautiful!' ....
I so so much agreeee! There are layers and layers of chocolate chip n vanilla (some mixed, some pure choc, n mountain ranges all around u... Each mountain looks different from d other...
Each tries to outdo the others in enamouring d beholder... !
But these gigantic mountains can also have a dangerous side - landslides are not new in this geography... the treacherous weather is not helpful either!
And who knows this better than d brave Indian Army!
Pls salute them while u're reading this...
Right from leh, all above, u see only army camps all d way - providing tourists with refreshment and restroom facilities....
And they brave d rough n ruthless weather at altitudes ranging from 11800 feet - Leh, to 18000 plus feet (khardungla pass)... Kudos to these guys!!!!

the trip was over in a tizzzy ... :) time flew... N so did we... Back from heaven to our respective cities.... :) but trust me d scents, d picture of this stupendous place stays with u...even after u're back to d hustle n bustle of mundane life !!!

day 44 - trip diaries - I

am writing this post at 4 am ... At costa coffee, @ delhi airport, in the company of 7 other girls who were unknown-till-9hours-ago...
excitement galore at the next 6 days :)))))) always wanted to go to L-square for a long tym... Didn't know it would happen like this... :)
Nice concept... This is... Travel with unknown ppl... far off place - 11500 feet above sea-level - different backgrounds, languages, professions, likings, .... All put together... One is an ex-airforce, one's a journalist, 2 of us from investments, one from a banking kpo, one's an auditor, one's an ad web designer... 3 more to join us in next 15 min...

the costa guy here looks totally bewildered....we've been laughing like crazzzieee over d silliest of things - right from 12.30 till 4 am.... Ladies night out... Full blast - Haha... High on cold coffees, juices, pastries, icecream.... Midnight feasts at complete abandon! ... All of us who had proclaimed dat we're Oh-so-sleepy... have not slept a wink ...
I think dats d thing about women bonding... Its instantaneous... Similarly dislike is also instantaneous... But that's not the case here, thankfully! There are some stuff that only my women-frens understand ... And I have only a fingerful of them!

Got to go, tym for the next flight! Will keep writing whenever I get d network!

day 43 - The 3 Musketeers !!!

Sunday May 9 - the historic day when Sud, Abhi n I had a long overdue Reunion time! (those who know us will know what I mean by 'historic':D and those who don't, will realise by d end of this post:D !!! )
The 3 of us decided to catch a play at NCPA (more on d fabulous play in d next post), and d programme was quickly charted out...
These 2 chaps were supposed to pick me up en route... And no surprises, they were late dan d original schedule by an hour!
(courtesy d hunger pangs dat sud felt post an aftnoon-long session of bowling...and then, he also needed to top up his snack binge by a vanilla-icecream-in-coca-cola! !)
Anyway, we were on our way with the poor cabbie who had a half-struck expression - as if he would burst into d SRK song - (badi mushkil hai, ... Main roun ya hasoon, karoon main kya karoon) any moment!
Sud wanted me to showcase my new-found singing talent in d cab itself.... and I had to wriggle out of d situation by remembering suddenly to call mona, our super-busy common fren... And have a loudspeaker chat ... (again poor cabbie uncle bore d brunt of our noisy commotional talk...) we decided within 2 min of d conversation to drop by mona's bldg (on d way it was!) n have a Fab 4 reunion... And den jab we al met...it was a flurry of quick, loud cross-talk, jokes, reminiscence of funny ol school incidents... Etc etc... All while d poor cabbie sat staring far away ! :D
And then again we resumed our onwards journey to ncpa...
We reached d play in the nick of time... The seats were on a first-cum, first served basis, but man! Were we lucky! ! We were amongst d last to arrive but got the finest seats! 3 cool last row seats raised to d finest height providing a marvellous view of the whole stage!

After the absolutely delightful play (more praise on d plays will follow soon), we strolled onto marine drive... Omg, the place is jampacked on sun eve....! Caught sum of their funny poses on my phone- cam... And we were about to walk towards d awesome intl cuisine resto nearby....when.... Sud sud-denly decided he wanted to take a royal warrior-like ride on d Victoria - a familiar british era-leftover seen on MD and norman point on weekends!)
It was only when Abhi n I refused to give him company atop d buggy dat he finally relented... Plus d guy was charging 200 bucks for a ten min ride!
Even walking towards d hotel was no less an adventure... We happened to see a rolls royce parked on d road and these 2 were moving around so suspiciously like a stealthy paparazzi that the driver of d car thought we were upto some thin...
Li'll did he know we were just plain crazie fellas lurking on horse-dung-in-d-air filled narmn pt streets at peak dinner time... By d tym we reached d resto, we learnt there was a one-hour wait involved! I guess d emptiness of our brains finally got to our stomachs... And we realised we'll have to go to an udipi hotel nearby to satiate our sudden hunger! Which we did!
Bickerings between abhi n sud continued all thru... Non-stop!!!
Finally, on our way back home, sud finally made me sing 3 songs! While Abhi played d part of sridevi in mr. India (angry at the kids wala scenario) ...

Whoa, thank God for simple-hearted frens... Frens who're happy in d slightest of joys, who can share and laugh at d same ol school jokes! Frens who prove that the best things in life are....... FREE! :)

day 42 - Seasons....

Just like there are seasons outside,
So they are inside...
The ones outside change only when the time comes,
The ones inside arrive and leave in a random manner...

Sometimes both are in sync, sometimes not so,
Sometimes with Joy we rise, in Sadness we sink....

Sometimes when its Spring outside, its Autumn inside,
When hope blossoms outside but withers within.......

Sometimes when its Summer outside, its Raining cats and dogs inside,
While the sun scorches our body,
The raindrops cleanse the Heart and Soul....

Sometimes its stark Winter outside, while the Heart is warm,
Sometimes there's a storm and its Thundering outside,
While the mind is surprisingly, very calm.......

Now when I'm out in the sweltering sun, whats the need to crib?
When I know deep down inside, there's just a switch I need to flip....

We aren't always in tune with the Seasons outside,
But just listen carefully to the song humming on your lips....

Just like the Seasons outside need to change when the Time comes,
So also no one bad season can continue within us Forever.......

And while Eternal Spring is what we all crave for,
We do know that the entire package comes alongwith it!

day 41 - sometimes .... Just sometimes... ambivalence....is bliss!

In continuation to my damn good mood, as mentioned in my previous post, I want to share some new stuff I learnt... :)

I've always been an extremist - - - binary...either 0 or 1... To me, d middle path sounds synonymous to an inability to take a stand... And I detest people who can't take a stand (as a matter of routine) ...
So what learning am I talking about?? in the last few months I've learnt dat sometimes, though very occasionally, its OK to not take a serious, involved view of certain events/situations, esp when they have already occurred despite yr best intentions... you've already made yr best efforts, n they've not worked....... at such times, it feels good to step back, stay in neutral zone, be ambivalent in your reactions - not too hot, nor too cold, just room temperature! keep yr calm, feel good about most ppl (sorry we can't feel good about 'all' ppl :D:D )... Sometimes, its soothing to not try and slot / compartmentalise every single thing, or relation... Like a fren told me yesterday, somethings don't fit in any single dimension...
Sometimes, ambiguity is nice, mild curiosity is nice, constant humming (neither silence, nor pounding) is sweet...
it just is..... !!!! :)

day 40 - advice - free free free....... No thx !

For some peculiar reason, I'm gonna write some boiling stuff Tode, nope, I'm not in a foul mood, on d other hand, m in a damn good mood.... :D but dat doesn't stop me from spewing some pent-up anger!
So here goes -
some ppl are born advisors.... U speak to them of an issue concerning yrself n then dey start bombarding u with advice which u don't need or which even they wouldn't Follow. Themselves. They start thinking just coz u have shared this issue/s with them, u're Oh-so-vulnerable! And they can take d liberty of saying whatever they want, to whoever they want.
My feedback to them -
'Oh damn, before playing God, kindly realise dat u too have yr weaknesses, how will u feel if someone makes fun of u or taunts u from them...??? This is blatant abuse of the trust and faith someone has placed in u... Its a mockery of the word ''friendship''.
We are not perfect... Every single one of us makes mistakes..sometimes a series of them.... As long as our intentions were never wrong, no one, I repeat, NO ONE, except yr parents, has any right to criticize u for it... Solicited advice is welcome, unsolicited... No way!'

N yeah, now dat I've spewn this out of my system, I also hv realised dat I too must be objective in what I advice others.. N that too, only wen asked for it! :)

day 39 - type 1 type2

nahh this is not abt sum mobile quiz contest... Its a derivative of statistics, law, psychology... Confused ...? Lemme explain...
In statistics, there are 2 kinds of errors dat one can make -
Type I error - where u prove the correct possibility to be wrong.. N
Type II error - where u prove d wrong thing to be right...
The same philosophy is also deeply
entwined with law and justice - dats the same reason why laws are framed such that while 100 guilty may go off scot-free, not even one innocent must be declared guilty... At least dats d endeavour...!

D debate on which error is worse continues... Type I or II???

I thot of this today in one of my (now frequent) flash-backs... And dibba, before u flare yr nostrils, Nah it was a generic flash-back:D

I think Type I Mistakes are far more lethal...N can even be irreparable - wat if in today's selfish times, u lost a great friendship - due to a third person's lies or some unproven / mislaid accusation'...
when u realise wat u've dun, n want to re-trace d paths to yr friendship, its quite likely dat yr fren doesn't want to have nything to do vid u... Take another instance, where by the time u'd have realise the truth, Time would have already passed, over into d realm of eternity... How repentful u'd be then?

Type II errors, on the other hand, can be really a pain, gross mockery of justice, or a stark rude reminder of our (mostly silly) mistake, which unlike school, will not cost us a mere 1/2 mark, but also pinch/irritate/bug/ torment us non-stop ... But somewhere along our journey, our type II errors make us wiser, far richer in experience... Those harsh lessons remain with us forever... N n like a bitter medicine, ultimately help us heal and live better... :)

day 38 - time out :)

I took sum deliberate time out from bloggin for d last 3-4 days....Ahhh... Before I blame it fully on work, lemme let u all in on a lil secret! I wanted to see how many of u actually read my blog n await it.... and yr overwhelmingly unenthusiastic response is well....to say d least.... Hmmmm....... Ahmmmmmm.... @#*+&!
:D Nah, actually I wrote on each of the last 3 days... But have deliberately not put it up here on d blog...for more reasons dan one... maybe Someday later I will..

day 37 - words....

Words have phenomenal power.... its not said for nothing that the Pen is mightier than the sword! Not just the written word, spoken words too have the same effect... There are certain occasions when someone says something which makes your day .... Year... Even life...
some words - which have hit me....either when they were spoken or read or hours / months / years later... And have had a marked effect on my life... In someway..........
I've enumerated certain people's (non-family) words - spoken or written - that I've encountered and the associated Action / thought / feeling.... There's no hierarchy here... Its just a collection of random thoughts..

1. Kiran Bedi and Feminism..
2. Sarada Ma ( Ramkrishna Paramhansa's wife) and spirituality
3. Swami Vivekanand and Youth Activism
4. A.R. Rahman's music and Energy
5. Vande Mataram / jana gana mana and Patriotism
6. Enid Blyton and childhood innocence...
7. Rachel miss telling me in std. 9 that I'm a brave and courageous girl And Confidence
8. Rekha miss (my art teacher) writing C or D against my art grade column...and 'Non-creativity'...
9. Mantras and hatred for priests...
10. Shailaja Mule, a well-known career counsellor pointing out during a career guidance session in std. X, that I would do well in Arts... And I could take up IAS or Management...
11. Naniji telling me to choose MBA over an IAS....
12. Morning Assembly in school and Prayer
13. DDLJ's dialogues and mild crushes ;)
14. Someone telling me u must dress up well for yourself... (not that I took the person v seriously)
15. My dance teacher telling me I have 2 left feet - way back in early 1990s and awkwardness in dancing ever since.... Till the time dibba became my dance teacher! ...
16. A chance reading online ....and Adoption...
17. A chat conversation and A crush...
18. A moral science chapter on conscience ... And steadfastness to values...
19. words of hate in MBA and my turning an introvert ... Remembering My class teacher (again rachel miss) telling me I'm super talkative... I can begin talking even if placed in different corners of the class... And return to extrovertism again!
20. Conversations, jokes, laughter and Friendships...
21. Silence, words without any Sounds, and Faith

day 36 - directions....

Humphhhh, ....
I wish One Word could sum up my mis-adventure day before y-day or rather night before y-night...
ok, first the background, God in a hurry, while assembling me, forgot to fit the compass... hence I entered d world w/o an iota of sense of direction... !!!
And unlike other traits, this one is governed solely by heredity and not environment... ie nature not nurture...!
U can imagine (if you share the same birth defect or if u know me) how difficult navigation can be for ppl like me
.... Some pointers to this effect can throw sum light on the gravity of this problem...
1. Bombay - my own city.... unfamiliarity with sum of the best known landmarks of the city....
2. Visiting a place...once...twice...thrice... Dozens Of times...n still blank...stark blank ....wen I hv to reach their again...
3. Always taking the same wrong left / right turn, only to regret and make the umpteenth promise to myself that I won't repeat the same mistake again!
4. Wen out alone, Having no qualms about asking ppl around for directions....time n again.... No ego hassles here! Ha!
5. struggling to get a mental path of the route to go to a particular place...
6. A feeling of extreme ecstasy on seeing the green signboard with white font reinforcing that I'm driving on the right road...
7. Crying / howling on finding out that I've gone off in totally diametrically opposite direction.. (latest eg: wen I reached bombay central instead of nehru centre - coz the cabbie heard the former...) .... Okie now.., stop laughing!
8. spending double the taxi / rickshaw fare coz the driver's taken me for a ride! Literally!
9. Reading the signboard on shops to realise the area / suburb/ road I'm on...
10. extreme phobia of trying out a different route... :)

And all this in my Own city.... I don't have to bother elaborating on out-of-town experiences...:)
And before u try n gender-ise the issue...kindly note that my mom n sis are even better than any migratory bird species...they have n Awesum sense of direction....
So now u know wat to gift me...bombay guides, maps, compass... !!!

day 35 - finalllllly!

this post is for day before day!
The day wen I finalllllly finalllllly saw a Play! Yep theatre's wat I'm talkin about...
I've for years wanted to go for one... Plans got cancelled at d last min on many occasions...or laziness of family to travel far from home on a weekend meant I never saw a Play....
Till.... 22nd April wen I saw one without planning to watch it at all...
Though this was a different genre of theatre...a musical and dance cum one-man play based on the life and works of the great Sufi saint - Amir Khusro.
A Play is far more real than cinema -
1. thre's no screen....
2. its all or none... The movie's not finalised for release till ethings picture perfect.... Here, u can practice endlessly, but on the D-day, what matters is what the artist does 'that' day... Seeing it this way parallels it with life... Its reality all d way thru'... No matter how well u plan for it or practice for d future... What matters most is how u fare in the Present. .. How u live each day, each moment...
3. the artist essays the role of a common man or woman...by essaying the role on the stage - we connect instantly... Coz we also play our various roles on the stage called Life...
4. Feedback is instant, obvious n instinctive.... the audience's reaction can be guaged spot on... In life, the notion of genuine feedback, or the idea of praising / criticising someone, on the spot, direct uncolored opinion is not always appreciated... I wonder y...

All in all, a good beginning...n looking fwd to watching millions of theatre work in the years to cum !!

day 34 - Things I luvvvvv....

apart from reading, watching movies.. The follg are not in any particular order though...
1. Eating with my hands...
2. A good loud hearty laughter..
3. Driving... (my car ....not ppl crazy..Haaaa!)
4. Teasing dibba vid ny and every guy...:p
5. Singing out loud alongwith d radio...
6. Eating every half n hour...
7. Jumping into other ppl's conversations - Talking to nyone abt nything n everything.../ nodding if I know nothin abt it... :D
8. Learning somethin new on the technology front....(new for me....ancient for d others! )
9. converting non-veggies into veggies ...
10. Practicing writing (legibly ) vid my right hand....n writing ambidextrously.... !

day 33 - :))

what do u do when.....

U r happy....
U r sad...
U r right...
U r wrong...
U learn a lesson / gain experience..
U look back in hindsight n realise yr mistake...
you realise what a strong anchor yr fmly has been all thru...
u lose yr way n find a sign...
U wanna make a new fren...
u hv to manaoo an angry fren...
u wanna catch someone's attention..
U dream a funny dream....
U win a losing game...
someone guesses yr mind...
u remnisice about times long ago..
U enjoy yr present...
......
In all d above, U Smile...yep...
Keep smiling... :))

day 32 - for want of a..........

For want of innocence, childhood is lost...
For want of curiosity, education is lost...

For want of exercise, health is lost...
For want of a plan, time is lost...

For want of a conscience, values are lost...
For want of trust, relationships are lost,

For want of respect, families are lost,
For want of love, marriages are lost,

For want of discipline, a battle is lost,
For want of loyalty, a country's freedom is lost...

For want of a passion, a dream is lost....
For want of a Purpose, life is lost!!!

day 31 - 31/365 ....1st Monthly Anniv.....!

1st mnthly anniv of this blog...
U'll recall that the raison d'etre of this blog was 365 days of non-stop blogging...
Well, 31 blogging days r ovr.. :) cheerzz...!!
A quik take on what i loved abt these 31 days of blogging ...
1. I got acquainted vid a new - me... Sum things lyk a lil streak of creativity..was unknown to me earlier!
2. I've exceeded my own expectations, conquered my own demoniac fears...i nvr evr cd post earlier in my previous attempts at blogging, w/o first staring fr long at d blank paper, n den writin sum gibberish...i may still continue to write advanced gibberish...:P but hvnt written a single post beforehand....all of dem hv been spontaneous/impromptu, n strt dil se!
3. I wrote a poem, then another, den a 3rd.....all this for d first time in my 29 yrs...!

Enuf of blowing my trumpet :D...
Here's wat needs to be improved asap:
1. I need to respond to comments sooner,
2. engage in a more interactive dialogue on d post,
3. spread d wrd N increase d readership...;),
4. make it better on looks n start using images as well,
5. Add more diversity to d topics!

Do lemme know yr comments on this... !
Thnks dear readers fr still being around :D:D
Ciao fr now....!

day 30 - ordinarily extraordinary.....!

this post is actually based on yday's happenings...
I saw d movie 'The Japanese Wife' directed by Aparna Sen...(of mr and mrs iyer fame)...the movie's basic premise, is dat 2 ppl - he an indian, she a japanese, who've nvr met each other...get married...remain married...keep in contact only thru letters n an occasional phone call, n arent able to meet each other till d end ...(of the movie or their lives, i wont tell, else i'll be spilling out d whole story! :)
What shines thruout d movie is d ordinary lives led by d characters....interwoven with complete honesty,
Simplicity, love, care, trust....
it embellishes d ordinary, reinvogorates it and surrounds it with the magic aura of d Extraordinary...
i came bak with a restoration of my faith in love, life n ppl in general :))

day 29 - things far beyond.......

every single event, episode, word, person, memory, action in our lives is meant to happen / be a part of our life's journey ..irrespective of the timeframe of contact / association - momentary or lifelong...
Nothing's merely coincidental, nothing's a 'big cosmic mistake'...everything happens in Time, its Time...our actions yield the desired result in Time's own time...our decisions get made in Time's time, our successes and failures happen in Time's time, ... Destiny / Fate? - i donno....cd be....sum things vil always remain a mystery i guess....we arent wired as yet to understand or modulate EVERYTHING....but we do have a brain, a heart and a soul - using all 3, make the best of our Time here :)
Everything is with a purpose - whether in the form of a lesson or an experience, or as an inter-link, or to change our life's path or due to our subconscious mind's desire...every person / event's role in our life is already carved out - sumtyms our mind uses sand as d canvas, sumtyms it uses stone...!
In hindsight, we tend to becum critical / judgemental, take up / assign undue blame, becum a tad more wiser, ....n resolve to fare better at the next crossroad.....only till....we face the next event / decision :)
No future can be built based on shadows of the past....so its imp to break free, face adventure with a smile, be eager abt the future, not anxious abt it....
Thank eone - incl our enemies... for their role in making us a better person each day, wish no harm (irrespectve of WHAT he / she has dun to us)...
Finally...
What triggered dis post....a tussle between sum bitter n sum sweet memories in my mind.... !

day 28 - 'Real'ity check!

There's a v thin line dividing ---
Fact and Fiction - Statistics :))
Real and Fantasy - Space tourism
Judgement and Prejudice - nothing can be totally unbiased, not even Justice!
Belief n Superstition - look around, no dearth of examples :)
Genius and Insanity - Meeee :D
Feelings and Thoughts,
Religion n Violence - Jihad,
Love and hate
Humor n Hurt - Santa-Banta jokes!
Trust n Betrayal,
Silence n Speech - at tyms we can understnd someone's silence while at tyms we dnt even 'hear' wat he/she's actually saying...

...the list can go on n on n on...
What is wrong here?? Is it just when we mistake one fr another...or are ignorant to understnd repurcussions of one on another?? Who decides wrong and right? Society....Majority.....Elders....Judges/Law? when shorn of all these tags, just who r these ppl with such limitless power?
Which brings me to another pair to be added to d list above - 'majority is right' N 'herd mentality :)

Day 27 Friends

Happy New Year to all the readers

On this occasion there is gonna be something new / different on this blog ... the real owner /writer of this blog is on a break and has decided to let someone else write the blog for her today.
Well the most important thing in letting someone else having to do a thing for you is having faith in him /her.
FAITH the underlying thing of all relations

How doe we measure relations?
We measure distances between places in different ways mm, cm, mtrs, km & miles.
Of course we cannot measure relations using the above measures.
People really don't need to be with each other or near each other to be close to each other.
You might be living with someone under one roof but still be never close to him/ her.
You might be working with someone in the same office but still never be able relate with him /her.
There could be a friend who now stays in a different town but he/she could be much more close to you than your blood relations.
Distances between people is defined by the faith they have with each other.
If they have faith then the distance created due to place or time doesn't matter.
On the other hand if there's no faith then even living under one roof won't make them come closer to each other.
Of all the relations that we can name or ever create the only one we ever have a complete say is friendship.
We don't have a say in deciding our parents, brothers or sisters, many don't even choose the life partners but everyone gets to choose a friend.
That's why friends are so close to us... some really lucky ones have the same group of friends throughout their life while some not so lucky have different people as their close friends during different stages in life.
Whatever may be the case the fact remains that friends are an integral part of our life.
They are there in our times of joy n sorrow ,ups n downs whenever we need them.
We can share our inner most secrets with them n b sure its safe.
That's why it is said a man is known by the company he keeps.
A world without friends will very soon see its end!!!
That's why today when my mobile went blank and I was not able to reach or call any of my friends I realised how incomplete I am without them.
The fact that most of them do not stay in the same city where I am staying currently has not come in between the moments of joy / sorrow in our lives.
I am really happy and thankful to all of them for being my friend and letting me be theirs too.
Guestpost by Harishkumar

thanks for the memories....

this is the title of the book that i'm reading currently....its by the same author whose debut was 'P.S. I love u'..Cecilia Ahern...like one of the reviews says, her books have an element of magic in them...a mystic sense of outofthisworld fantasy...n loads of plain vanilla innocence n wonder....
In this post, i'm listing down some of the thoughts / philosophies that one of the characters conveys in a very simple, ordinary form...or in a metaphoric manner..

Here goes -

1. 'This is all u do When it all slows down n d minutes that tick by feel a little longer than before, .......you take yr time....you breathe slowly, you open yr eyes wider n look at EVERYTHING. Take it all in... Stop and notice little things....Find out d answers to yday's crosswords. Stop trying to do everything NOW...NOW...NOW...Dont let nybody dictate yr speed...'

2. ....'like a garden, Everything grows. Including Love....Everything builds....including our ability to cope with it. Thats how we keep going'.

3. 'in my day, something JUST WAS. None of this analysis a hundred times over...no whys n hows n becauses all the time...sometimes, you need to forget all these words, n just learn to say ''thank you''.

4. During tough times, ' what was once clear becums cloudy, n wat was once considered bizarre becums a possibility...but its precisely when u're in trouble, u look harder for answers than those who arent, and those answers help u thru...'

5. When we laugh so hard dat we cry, its tells us 'how close happiness n sadness are. ...how a moment of lovecan be quickly snapped into hate....how love and war stand on the same foundations. How in our darkest moments, most fearful tyms, when faced, become our bravest.
They all border one another, these opposites...how similar emotions are!'

What i loved abt d above 5 gems are dat they're woven into the story narrative so brilliantly...no preachings...just plain simple truths of life...! :)

day 25 - my top 10 list.....

we all hv a to-do list fr our daily routines...ticking them off / crossing them out wen dun gives an immense sense of 'yayyyy' ...:) haha...imagine how many multifold will the sound of 'yayyy' be....wen we achieve d 'to-do' lists of our life....
Dreamzz big n small, innermost hearts' desire, grand challenges/dares, soul-searching quests, our goals - silly or mediocre, our commitments to our self n the larger self....all find a place in our life's 'written in pink' to-do list / wishlist (or watevers yr favorite color)....its always there in the sub-conscious mind...just a matter of digging it out... here's my top 10 wish-list ...newer items will of course keep getting added as i tick off d ones i achieve....
1. Finding Kandle....soon...
2. Starting my own school...
3. Being an active member of a campaign against female foeticide..
4. 'Space trip' (waiting fr competition in this area to increase n fares to cum down before i'm disallowed frm boarding d flight...
5. Till then... Skydiving' shd be fun! :)
6. Get into Politics....Clean it up n make it shine!
7. Turn a 100 percent vegan...(vegans r vegetarians who dont hv milk in ny form)
8. Write a book...
9. Rebel against all things wrong...
10. Begin a fitness regime to accomplish all d above!
All ye know wat to say....
'Amen'! :)

day 24 - d kandle in my life...

I know for sure that you are for real...
I know for sure that you are already here...

There's so much of joy n anticipation,
There's so much of fear n trepidation...

When will u be mine, oh divine ....?
i'm now a prisoner of Time...

The thought of you lights up my life, making it so surreal......
The dreams of you come in a reel....

you n i are meant to be together soon,
This combination's already approved by all d planets n d moon....

Y oh y have i to wait fr so long,
Maybe just maybe God's seeing to it that to each other we soon belong....

Daily little things remind me of u
n d pain n agony of being afar hits me out of d blue....

I seek strength, courage n wisdom n guidance from the One Up There!
That lord, dear God, pls hasten up our pair...

I promise to be the best fren you vil find,
Kandle oh dahling Kandle, you're always on my mind.....

day 23 - indebted for life....

you walked her treks, while she simply played in your arms,
you lost sleep while she snored deeply
You felt her pain, she physical, you emotional,
You prayed n blessed, she succeeded,
You worried, she was over-confident,
You explained, she shrugged,
You forgave, she made mistake after mistake,
You were right, she was wrong,
You were selfless, she was full of 'self',
You gave, she took,
You hoped, she was hopeless,
Despite everything, You still nurtured, she grew,
For all of this and more, she'll always remain indebted to You...!
Love u loads Mom :)